To My Sons

Robe: Pink Blush Maternity, c/o

I have loved your father for nine years and we've been friends for twenty. He's been a part of my life more than he has not. We have quite the story, him and I, that one day we'll sit down and share with you. 

I can't help but think God knew the world needed more men like him and that's why He gave us two. Our story began when we were ten. Kids who enjoyed petty conversation over McDonalds nuggets or a Starbucks latte. When he told me he loved me and that he always would. We loved deeply as oceans and continents separated us. Dozens of flights, countless emails and phone calls sealed our love and then we wed amongst the ocean breeze. 

Him and I and also you.

I have many hopes for you both.

My greatest hope that you come to know His redeeming love, the power of His grace and that you grow in His wisdom. I pray you love deeply, caring about this broken world and all its people. I hope you are kind and compassionate, full of grace and humility. The world changes when we love, really love, those who are in it. Don't be selfish and please don't be safe. I beg of you. Love is uncomfortable but it's simple 1 Cor. 13:4-8. 

Find someone who ignites your self-worth. Be the kind of man who is patient, forgiving, and apologetic. Display these often. Who doesn't belittle, who encourages his wife to be strong and courageous. Who sees her worth and capabilities. Be the man who calls her out but doesn't use her flaws against her. 

Compassion. Grace. Gentleness. Self-control.

Love someone who stands behind you. Who gives you a standing ovation for small victories. Someone who is willing to move mountains and stand in the valleys with you. Love someone who is courageous and makes you brave. Love someone that makes you better. Find a partner who respects you. And most importantly, someone who has surrendered to His free gift.

Love each other hard. Unconditionally. Unprovoked. Selflessly. Dangerously. 

Marry your best friend. Someone you want to stay in the room with. Who boasts with pride when spoken of you. Laugh together. The kind of laughter that makes your belly ache and your cheeks sore. Be silly together. Enjoy the little moments like conversations over McDonalds nuggets and a Starbucks latte. 

I do not say these things lightly. I know them to be true. For I found them in your daddy.

Little Letters: Christmas Edition

Pajamas | Beanie

Dear Christmas lights, I love how much you've popped up all over town. And I love how much Liam loves you. He's found the Christmas tree switch and you better believe you are shining bright all the time (colored lights only please). It's especially funny when they switch from white to colored.

Dear plaid jammies, thank you. Thank you for being so comfortable and so dang Christmasy. I'm never taking you off.

Dear Gilmore Girls, you've given me ALL THE FEELS. I've waited so long to hear those four words and though it seems this is how you should end, I just don't know how I feel about it. Something isn't sitting well. TV shows, man. Emotional roller coaster.

Dear Liam, YOU ARE A CHRISTMAS LOVER! My work is done. Thank you for being my partner for Christmas ornaments DIYs, belting carols, and for sitting and staring at the Christmas tree. Never grow out of this.

Letter to Me (and you)

Target Dress, similar | Tights | Boots | Michael Kors Bag, similar

I'm not really a resolution maker. Years that I've made them usually, at best, start to dwindle around March. You know the ones:

Work out 5 times a week. Get new workout clothes because they'll make me want to workout! 

Eat healthier/Cut out sweets.

What really are my expectations when I make them? Do I really expect to stick with those? Hopefully yes, but realistically, no. However, I do like how refreshing it is to start a new year. To turn a new leaf, a blank slate, a chance to start again. With that, I've compiled a list of things I really DO hope to do and live by. It's important to remind myself of these things, to know I'm not perfect, to forgive myself, but to push myself and grow more like my loving Savior. And I think that's what He calls us to do.

 1. Keep a journal with you writing down all the wonderful things that have occurred during the day. It's so easy to forget those minute things. But oh, how sweet it is to look back and see God's blessings throughout the day.

2. Accept apologies. Trust they mean it. Don't hold it against them and use it to hurt them.

3. Tell my family how much I love them. Daily.

4. Take a photography class. You've always been wanting to. What's holding you back? Let go of the fear and accept the challenge. And it will be FUN!

5. Yell less. I'm quick to get angry, especially at Liam, and feel my voice rise by the second. Be slow to anger.

6. Be you. Stop the comparison game. There's only one of you. Corny? Most definitely. But how great it is to have a world full of individuals.

7. Get involved. Go deeper. Get to know people. This church is going to be good, so let it.

8. Carry out our year of dates. Document it. (For Christmas, I gave husband a year's worth of dates, two per month, all planned out and ready to go. He picks the day and we do it. One date is at home, one out) See how we grow together, become more intimate. Take advantage of babysitters. And family. :)

9. Be playful. Laugh more, don't take things so seriously.

10. But also, grow up.

11. Read five books this year. For some of you, that's easy. I used to love reading and somehow lost my love for it over the years. I miss how much it stretches me, how much I learn, how my imagination runs wild. Starting with Out of the Spin Cycle: Devotions to Lighten Your Mother Load by Jen Hatmaker. Thanks, sis!

12. Get up earlier. Use the 24 hours I've been given to the fullest. Spend that time by myself, with the Lord, with husband, with my son, just USE IT. Don't waste this life.

Dear Liam,

I'm sitting here watching you. You're growing up so fast--almost 10 months! I love watching you. I don't want to miss anything. Some days I think time is screaming by and before I know it you'll be packing your bags for college. Then there are times when time stands still. Sometimes these are the nights when you've woken up countless times and all I want is just a few hours of consecutive sleep. Other times it's when we're having cozy time and you snuggle up close and just want mama. Those are the moments I want to last forever.

You are learning so much so quickly. You wave to say "hi", "bye" and "night night." You say "mama" and "dada" like it's your job.  Shaking your head "no" sometimes makes you dizzy. You rock on all fours just like I used to. The first time you did it I smiled; it is the first thing you did that I knew came directly from me. You're itching to walk but just don't have the confidence. No matter. Don't grow up too fast, please. And that smile. That sweet, sweet smile just warms my soul. Those conversations we have in the car and I look back at you and you just smile with your mouth closed (definitely didn't get that from me) and your hands folded so neatly in your lap. I'm a puddle on the floor when I see that smile. I love all your smiles, but that one. That one's my favorite. I pray your sweetness never fades---that you treat your friends and wife with that same sweetness. If you're like your daddy, I'm sure you will.

I love you, my sweet boy.
XO

it's a....!

every now and then, husband and i get longer than a few hours to ourselves and we take advantage. last night we took a long walk in the FREEZING cold weather (50 is cold people) with sadie to grab dinner. we sat outside eating warm soup, people watched, and just were. fall was wonderfully in the air.

a few days ago was a our 19 week doctor's appointment. pure excitement, anticipation, and nerves led up to this appointment. this was the day we were finding out if it's a boy or girl. after meeting with our doctor and enduring a 25 minute ultrasound, we were given the news i'd wanted to hear. you're having a BOY! i knew it was, i just knew it. they say you just know, and it may not be true for everyone, but i did. and i'm so glad. hunter will finally have another boy cousin! there's lot of girls running around these parts and another boy will definitely add some spice. we went to dinner afterwards to celebrate and to tell family members the news. a few enjoyed adding their two cents about names. norbert, eugene, martin, bernard, buford (bryson obviously)--all great choices, guys, but i think we've landed on a name. this we're keeping to ourselves for a little while longer. :)


to my sweet boy,
i felt you move for the first time this morning. i was driving to work at 4am. some of us were still half asleep, and some of us were not. i felt you flutter around several times and then finally settle down. never big flutters, but enough to make you ever so real to me. you're doing wonders to my heart and i already love you so.
xoxo,
mama

Love Letters

Got this idea from Amanda and I loved it! Who doesn't love a tangible letter, especially one that is encouraging and meaningful? Can't wait for further info! For more details, go here.