Little Conversations

Sweatshirt: Target | Leggings: Target | Flats: Zara, similar and similar | Sunnies: Vans, similar and similar | Bag: Catherine Malandrino

Mama, look at that race car! It's so fast. Ooooh, it's racing that other car! Does your car have fast tires, mama?

I reply tiredly, I don't know.

Well that's your choice, you know.
What was your favorite part of your day?

Tag with Geronimo. Wait no! Hide and Seek.

What about your least favorite? What made you sad? I ask.

Well, sometimes Darion takes my monster truck and that makes me so sad. So I tell him, 'Please don't take my car! It's not nice!'

Does he listen?

After racing each other into the house, Liam's upset that I beat him.

You're not my best friend, mama!

Perfect. I'm not trying to be your best friend. I'm your parent.

I heard husband cackle in the next room and say, Trumped.
Mama, I want my baby brother here. Let's go to the hospital. He can play with my Blaze monster truck and sleep in my bed. 

And then he kisses my belly. ❤
When we found out we were pregnant with Liam, excitement and mostly fear crept in. We were young, immature, still finding our way in the world. How could we guide a new little one when it seemed we couldn't even guide ourselves? The pregnancy seemed long, at times unbearable. I was tired, swollen, and my heart wasn't in it.

You can't imagine the guilt I feel for that.

But then that little boy was born and oh, the joy. It wasn't immediate. It wasn't the second we lay skin to skin, or when we took him home for the first time. As he grew, my mama heart grew seven times as fast. It seemed to be growing at an alarming rate. We began to wonder if we should do it again. But we loved our little tribe of three.

But what if three were four? Could I love the second just like the first? Would it take a year for me to adjust and really embrace motherhood again? What about the post-partum depression? It seemed so dark.

But our hearts grew even faster than before. This time seemed right. And those two pink lines answered all my questions. You can do this. You are ready. For now you know what being a mama feels like. What unconditional love is.

Liam brought us here. I owe this openness to that sweet, snarky little blue-eyed three year old. This pregnancy hasn't given me a little bit more of the same kind of love I have for Liam. It's multiplied and has given me a love for our family like nothing I've ever experienced. I'm excited for everything new and the challenges that come with two. Twice the mess, twice the sandwich making, twice the vacuuming, but not twice the love. This love. This love I have for my boys is immeasurable.

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