You hear a lot of things when you're pregnant which makes it seem like you have a pretty good handle on what to expect. The weird cravings, off the chart hormones that send you in a fiery rage or tears in the blink of an eye, the nausea, and the pain of ligaments stretching.
But, my friends, they don't tell you everything.
1. It's impossible to not pee when sneezing or coughing. The first time it happened, I was horrified. I literally just peed my pants. I am a grown woman and I peed myself. It's best to just accept it and move along.
2. The sweating. I don't have hot flashes. I am 20 shades hotter than anyone around me All. The. Time. It may be snowing and blustery but give me all the AC because I'm over here in buckets. (Sorry husband and Liam for freezing you out all the time). Another fun fact, your bump sweats. So attractive.
3. There is no glow. Who thought of this? People who tell you you're glowing, generally are liars and are great at masking what they really what to say. Honey, you look like life is hard. The only glow I have is sweat. (See number 2)
4. How BIG your belly button gets. Liam thinks mine is an actual button and goes boop! every time he touches it. That's really all that needs to be said about this.
5. Your boobs don't stop growing. I'm currently 21 weeks and they are still getting bigger by the second. I don't really know where I got the idea that it just stopped but it's a lie. It's all a lie. And also. Big boobs are dumb. They hurt, get in the way, and just make you look bigger than you are. Would love to go back to my B cup, thank you so much.
6. You swell and not just when you're in your third trimester. I will go home after work, take off my heels and my ankles are huge. It looks like I have elephantiasis. Sitting (or standing) all day will make your limbs balloon up. It definitely gets much worse in the third trimester so I have that to look forward to.
7. You are immobile. Something about your center of gravity changes and it's just hard to get around. Sometimes just getting up out of a chair is difficult and requires maximum effort. The amount of grunting and rolling around like a beached whale I do is embarrassing.
The more you know.