Liam isn't the easiest child. He's headstrong, stubborn, persistent, moody, opinionated. He's been on my mind a lot lately (as a mother always thinks about her children) as we've been trying to master "big ones" in the toilet. The other night, after another clean-up of messy pants, I felt a twinge of guilt rising in my belly.
You see, just as Liam is headstrong, stubborn, persistent, moody and opinionated, he is also a lover, a hugger, people-pleaser, and oh so tender hearted. I felt myself using those against him. I felt I manipulated those wonderful traits and used them for my benefit to get what I wanted.
It felt so poopy and ugly. Pun intended.
"When my children remember their childhood, I want only for them to remember that their mother gave it her all. She worried too much, she failed at times, and she did not always get it right...but she tried her hardest to teach them about kindness, love, compassion, and honesty. Even if she had to learn from her own mistakes, she loved them enough to keep going, even when things seemed hopeless, even when life knocked her down. I want them to remember me as the woman who always got back up." --unknown
You've given me my heart of a mother. You have opened up my heart in the biggest of ways. When I think about expanding our family, I think of you. Your heart is so big. You love your people and you love them well. How well suited you are to cherish and protect that little cub.
You've grown up so much and sometimes I ache for that little baby boy. But then.
You wrap your little hands around my finger.
You still let me rock you before bedtime.
Your L's still sound like W's.
When I'm standing at the sink, sudsy in bubbles, I feel your little arms wrap around my legs.
Nothing is quite as comforting in the morning like your mama.
I love how much you love, and how big. I have many hopes for you but I hope that love grows and grows and that you use it for His glory and goodness. God has given you a heart of compassion. The world may take advantage of it but I hope that persistence and stubbornness urges you to give in to God's calling to love others. This world could use some of that. Give it to them.
You've given it to me.