Floral top, Marshalls | Cardigan, Target | Pants, F21, similar | Flats, Target, similar | Sunnies, Vans
Before you have kids, you never realize how difficult it really is. Sure you hear about the sleepless nights, the first few months of literally no sleep, the breastfeeding woes, the clingy stage, the teething stage, the learning to walk stage. You hear them in a long list but it still sort of sounds dreamy. Magical. "If I'm going to be awake all night, I'm glad it's to nurse a newborn." Sure, that's true. But have you ever ACTUALLY lived on no sleep? Have you ever tried to work a full time job, succeed at it, and still be supermom/wife? Before kids, I thought I would kick parenting in the ass.
And then I had Liam.
While not the hardest baby, he certainly was challenging. Wiggly, never liked to cuddle, nursing never worked out for us (all the dreams I had of magically dropping the baby weight due to nursing flew out the window), the terrible two's started at 15 months and they haven't let up.
Last night I was putting the finishing touches on dinner--taking the cornbread out of the oven and dishing the homemade soup husband had so graciously prepared in the crock pot. Then I heard it.
Mama, I need help.
My first reaction was to say "wait." I feel so guilty even saying that. He padded into the kitchen with two wooden tracks in hand and whispered, Can you connect it? So soft, so gentle.
Dinner could wait.
I scooped him up, gave those squishy cheekies the biggest smooch and we built his track "in a circle" just like he wanted.
My son needed me. I flashback to thoughts of him when he was a baby. He needed me then too, just not in the pre-determined images I had of what parenting would look like. These days, I'm the only one he'll cuddle with and there are days when he's on my hip more often than he is not. My plate is sometimes the only one he'll eat from and getting him to eat his veggies is a never ending battle. But he plays independently, sleeps like a champ, and his constant kisses on my forehead make me swoon. Parenting is not all rainbows and butterflies, thankfully and I'm definitely not supermom.
But he needs me.
I hope I always make dinner wait to build that track.
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