our birth story

i went in wednesday night for my 6pm induction appointment. as we arrived at the front desk to check in, we are told that our appointment may have been moved. we were directed to labor and delivery and were told there were no rooms available, to check back in three hours and that was the best they could do. fury sets in and am baffled by an appointment made with a lack of rooms. we went home, frustrated and angry, watched the most hilarious episode of conan with katie, and called the hospital. yet again, we were turned away and instructed to "call back in an hour." baffled. just baffled. this was a horrible start. finally at 10pm, we were told to come in. people would be moved around and a room would be made available for us. two hours later in a small waiting room, a nurse apologized and said it would be another ten minutes. meanwhile, the two plus hours we had been waiting had caused my feet/legs to swell the size of tree trunks. FINALLY, another nurse came and brought us to a room. because i had not progressed at all, i was given cervidil to help "ripen" the cervix. tmi? it's a twelve hour process and by the time i had taken the insert, it would be 130pm the next day for any other action to take place. contractions started slowly and it was a long night.

 i got maybe two hours of sleep and was exhausted. my parents came to sit and keep me and thomas company. they never moved from my bedside and am so grateful for their entertainment. the cervidil was removed and the petocin was started. i was tired and starting to feel a bit more pain, but overall i was doing great.

as the afternoon led to evening, contractions started getting much worse and thomas was so great at distracting me. he gave lots of back rubs, sips of water, foot massages to get me through. 8 or 9pm rolled around and after being checked, the doctor starts talking options. i could take another round of cervidil in hopes of still having a natural (natural...ha!) delivery or a c-section. words cannot express how devastated i was. i had been there 24 hours and not a lick of progress had been made. all that work was for nothing but my mom reminded me that it was still positive that he was giving me the option of having a natural birth. at that point, i was so disappointed a c-section sounded promising. it would be over much sooner and i would not have to endure the long painful hours anymore. being the rock stars that my parents and thomas are, they encouraged me through my tears to stick it out and worse comes to worse, if the cervidil still didn't work then i would have a c-section and my baby by early evening the next day at the latest. another twelve hours seemed daunting but i truly wanted to deliver naturally and we gave the cervidil another go. i popped a sleeping pill and slept miraculously through the night. at 8am, i was still only about 2-3cm and nothing had been "ripened." this baby was stubborn. the petocin started again, i was moved to a different room and the most talkative nurse at the hospital was attending me for the next twelve hours. to say i was over it is an understatement.

 due to my unique situation, i wasn't given the option to wait on the epidural. the petocin was going to getting pumped pretty quickly and the epidural needed to happen pronto. fine by me! the less i felt was great. fifteen minutes later, labor felt euphoric. mobility was out of the question and i was bored out of my mind but at least i didn't feel much! progress was still slow and in early evening i was only at 4cm. i. was. pissed. tired does not even begin to explain how i felt and i was feeling defeated. the doctor came in to tell me i was going to be prepped for a c-section. at that point, i was over it. do it. get it done because i'm done.

 thomas puts on his delivery suit, super excited to be adorning his new ensemble and i was getting prepped by my mom on what to expect. as i'm about to get moved into the OR the nurse checks me one more time and low and behold suddenly i'm at 6cm! oh praise jesus! the doctor comes back in and says they're willing to wait another hour to see if i've made any more progress. my emotions were on a roller coaster. more checks and i was at 8cm. the end had to be near! they say after about 6cm, things speed up pretty quickly. well in fitting with my labor, they did not. i was at 8cm for almost two hours. what in the world. but all of a sudden i was at 9-9.5 cm and suddenly i was being asked if i was ready to push. what? what happened to 10cm? all the while, the epidural was wearing off and this was no longer a pain free process. i've never experienced such pain in my life. the anesthesiologist made several visits to my room and he became my best friend.

 the pushing started with thomas, my mom, and katie by my side. thomas' fear of seeing anything grotesque left and his elation was motivation enough to get liam out. nurses rushed into the room and lots of "push harder!", "i can see his hair" and "get ready to push again" filled the room for the next several minutes. i was asked if i wanted to feel his head and without thinking i felt my little boy and heard myself saying, "whoa, that's so crazy." my doctor rushed in and twenty minutes later, baby liam was born. 2:36am and 50 hours of hard labor, he was out and i was a mommy to a 9 pound, 14 ounce boy. he was beautiful and perfect and everything i didn't know i wanted.

little boy, you have already enriched our lives in so many ways. i wouldn't trade the lack of sleep or many outfit changes for anything. you are my delight and i love you unconditionally. being your mama has given me a little glimpse of seeing the Father's love for me.