A pint of ice cream sort of mood

I've become a bit of a poop head these days. I'm worn out. Happy, but worn out. I feel pretty empty (it's a twisted, confusing sort of feeling). I'm frustrated we haven't found a church yet. We're, quite frankly, pissed at churches here. I'm done with the production, the social networking, lack of heart, lack of community. I could go on and on. We've given up looking for the time being. Maybe out thirtieth try will be a success?
I love our friends here. They've become our family. That being said, it's difficult not having family here. Or least communication between our Texas family. It breaks my heart watching this all play out. As much as it hurts me though, it's hardest watching Thomas. He is torn apart. I want to scream sense into them. I want to get up in their face, fists pounding and yell "how dare you?!" That's what I want to do. Thomas takes a much more refined approach. All I can think of at the end of the day: this is family. Family. Whyy?? How could it have gone this far? How could such harsh words be said? Will we ever move on from this? I pray we do.
So yes, love our friends here. They've become our family: Jenni, Chad, Trent, Mel. I love them all. I need them. By August though, we won't all be around and that makes me wanna cry.
I love being a newlywed. Absolutely love it. Sometimes it feels like we've been married for years (a good thing, by the way) and sometimes it feels like we're still dating. I adore it. But our job schedules don't mesh. I close most days and Thomas works all through the night. I need my nightly cuddles and I don't get them. It's the same story it's always been with our jobs, but some days are harder than others. Sometimes, it's hard knowing I'll only see him a couple hours a day (and usually only an hour before his lack of sleep starts to catch up with him). We struggle finding the necessary time we need together. We both need more of each other, there just aren't enough hours in the day. But....my light at the end of the tunnel.......

Because of his job, we're able to move back to California!!! Yay. Our lease is up in October and we're discussing whether to rent for another six months after or...something. But we're moving back. This I've been promised. =)

I received several phone calls from various childhood friends today and it just kinda broke my heart. I've lost touch with them. My fault. But I have no energy to catch up. We've missed so much. Sad. It's terrible I've let it get this far. I need to just pick up the phone.

All the while, summer weather has sprung. It's hot. And our AC still sucks.
I feel grumpy. 
Sorry for the grump a dump post. 

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